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Southern Voice, the Atlanta-based newspaper for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans community, has a story about Darlene Harris, an Atlanta police officer who just came out as intersex. Officer Harris is the Police liaison for the LGBT community, and she gave a presentation in which she discussed her experiences in front of approximately 20 people in a workshop.
From the article:
For Harris, who has identified as female her entire life, finding out she is a male genetically felt like a burden lifted after growing up feeling so different than everyone else, even sometimes within the queer community.
"When I came out as a lesbian, the women I dated would say something's not right. I'd say I'm fine, you're just small," Harris said, referring to having an enlarged clitoris. "Of course, I said that to feel comfortable with myself."
[...]
As a child, Harris said her mom used to tell her she was "supposed to be a boy" because that's what an amniocentesis test revealed. And while her father called his other daughters "pretty," he always said Harris was his "handsome daughter."
"And that used to bug me. I didn't understand," she said.
Harris shared childhood memories of being potty-trained and always standing up to use the restroom. Her mother begged her to sit on the toilet, telling her that life would be hard if she went into a female restroom and was seen by someone else standing to urinate.
In the sixth grade, that did happen. The incident so embarrassed Harris that Harris finally learned to use the restroom sitting down.
Then there was the attraction to other girls.
"I knew I was always attracted to females growing up. It was natural to me. Mentally, when I dated women, I thought in male terms," Harris said.
Since Harris was in junior high school, she has been able to grow a full beard and moustache and shaves every day. She said she also grows excessive hair on her chest and stomach--signs that someone might be intersex. Her enlarged clitoris, or micro-penis, was also a sign. But never knowing what being intersex was or having anyone to talk with about what she was going through caused Harris to keep her confusion stuffed inside.
"The reason I'm here is this is a healing process for me. It's important to share my story," Harris said.
"Growing up, not knowing what was going on, was hard. There was something not right. Now I know all the things I felt growing up weren't me just bugging out," Harris said. "If I can help just one person, this is worth it."
Posted by Emi on Jul 4, 2008